Are families a lost cause?

I may have blogged similar thoughts before, but I can't help myself. I'm afraid our society is failing.

My coworkers and I were at lunch today and I couldn't help but notice the family sitting across the way. The dynamic at the table was heart breaking. With exception of the fussy infant, they sat at the table in complete silence without so much as a hint of eye contact between them. Granted, I don't know the story, but I all to frequently see the trend. Why are our families failing?

The Old Testament closes with a promise, followed by a warning:

"Behold, I am going to send you Elijah the prophet before the coming of the great and terrible day of the Lord. He will restore the hearts of the fathers to their children and the hearts of the children to their fathers, so that I will not come and smite the land with a curse."
Malachi 4:5-6

Families were divinely created to be whole units where love and safety abounded, but the reality is American families appear to be crumbling. The good news is we have the power to choose. The question isn't about the war raging against us; the question is, "will we fight?". 

Once we determine our answer, we can begin to develop our fight. Confucius is quoted saying, "To put the world right in order, we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right." I agree with this theology. 

Our families won't be a lost cause if we make a commitment to change ourselves. I believe in restoration. I believe broken hearts can be mended and I believe we can know love again in America. We just have to want it. After all, love works.

Who might you be?

I often find it interesting how people describe themselves. As part of my job, I travel the country and engage in conversations with complete strangers, be it on an airplane, at a restaurant, or in the workplace. You might be amazed at the number of individuals who can't wait to tell their story to a willing ear.

More often than not, I hear all about people's careers first. Those stories usually boil down to two scenarios: they either love their job and can't imagine doing anything different or they hate their job but stand convinced  it's all they'll ever do.

Family is a close second in topics for conversation. I love seeing proud mommas pulling out the iPhone and sharing pictures of little Suzie or proud daddies talking about little Jack's winning football game last Saturday. Occasionally I'll even hear a stellar love story that could be sold to Hollywood; those are always a welcomed surprise.

Finally, I all too frequently hear about people's assumed and actual failures. What they wish they would have done differently, or what they could have done better given an more conducive opportunity. Some individuals can't move past the mess ups. It's as if the failure is a cloud that constantly follows them, clothing them in shame. Others let the failure fuel them, be it positively or negatively; either way, they just can't let it go.

"What does all this have to do with personal description," you might ask. Well, in two years of steady traveling, I very rarely hear about others ambitions, hobbies, dreams, goals, or silly quirks. I can't help but wonder if modern day America has lost sight of personal identity.

While a job or  family may contribute or influence your thoughts, behaviors, or mannerisms, I'm not convinced they should comprise your complete identity. If we allow failure (or fear of failure) to define us, we'll never win. But what about those shelved dreams? Hidden talents? Favorite hobbies? Personal commitments? What place do we allow those things in our lives?

Who are you today and what things have you adopted as your identity? I think it's a question worth thinking about.